After realizing yesterday that I am, in fact, a fool in a wide number of ways, and despite a few hangups (such as waiting two hours after I got off work for Morgan to get off work, and then because he had had a terrible day, getting some beer after work as it's something I've been meaning to do anyways for the last two or three weeks), I managed to tear into the mess that surrounded my art table.

Yeah, that's right: -ed. My art table is now clean, and smells slightly of lemon, and all of my unused art tools are organized, and ready to be plucked from their respective berths and used.

I am going to try to become something more of an artist. The more I think about it, the less I realize I know about Art as a statement, a meaning, a purpose. You can say people know what art is, but I believe that most people see art as a frivolity that sometimes holds personal meaning. Or, perhaps that's just how I saw it. Whatever the case, I want to get under the skin of art -- written and drawn (painted, whatever) -- and really get to know it. That's not to say that I'm suddenly going to become a genius or some other bull, or an enlightened person, but it means I'm actually going to make a serious attempt at trying. Which, for me, is actually something of a first. Because I don't really ever try. I've never really struggled for anything, even if I should have struggled.

Well, until recently with a situation that really made me have to put in a bit of a struggle, and I realized I'd half-assed that too.

I have a history of half-assery. I blame it on being young and predictably stupid in youthful arrogance. In any case, I want to rectify it. I started with cleaning my art table. I'm going to use baby steps for awhile, because I don't want to miss anything important.

So wish me luck or whatever, here goes.

First, I'm starting with the human body. To that extent I'm going to work on the skeleton, musculature, and understanding how the body moves and works. I think some of the issues I have with drawing the body is connected to my not really understanding these things. And not really ever trying to understand them.

Next I'll go with some exercises in the human body (since that's the easiest, least likely way to make me want to give up). I'm going to use videos of classic (or modern) dance, pause it at an interesting position, and then draw what I see. From there I will replicate the skeleton. From there I will try to use the same position on a variety of body types. Considering I'm rusty and never really studied the human body seriously, this is likely going to take me months.

While I'm doing this, I'm going to conceptualize and work on a project that will have something to do with skeletons.

While I'm doing that, I'm going to do some (*gag*) still life work. QQ. QQ. QQ. I know my ability to draw things in relation with each other, as well as a habit of drawing too lightly, needs to be corrected. This is a good way to correct it. I'm going to rely on Morgan to tell me when I'm doing stuff wrong, since he has a good eye and isn't afraid of telling me when something sucks. Even when I don't want to hear it.

Imma start on skeleton work today. And work on cleaning up the rest of the clutter in my bedroom. Sigh.